Shame

“Forgive yourself. Let it go. Forget about it. Move on.” They’re easy phrases to say, but so much harder to actually do. We all mess up sometimes, whether it’s lashing out at a friend, engaging in self-destructive behavior, or cutting corners at work. Those mistakes often come with overwhelming feelings…

If you are in therapy, or trying therapy for the first time, you might wonder if you can tell your therapist everything, or if there are certain things you should never tell your therapist. It can be especially difficult to know what to say and not to say in therapy…

Whether it’s a one-time traumatic experience, or a multitude, healing from sexual abuse can take time and dedicated effort for many survivors. Thankfully, at Thriveworks, it’s an experience that clients don’t have to endure alone—because we offer professional support during your recovery process. Sexual abuse support, through trauma-informed counseling services,…

Guilt can be a tool for growth, but it can also be erosive and paralyzing when it’s felt too much. Sometimes, people can experience guilt for situations or events that aren’t their fault, or even have nothing to do with them. In some cases, this can be due to something…

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) places compassion, both for oneself and for others, at the heart of the healing journey. By nurturing a kind and nurturing inner voice, CFT equips individuals with the tools to soothe themselves and foster self-supportive behaviors.  The ultimate aim is to construct a foundation of emotional resilience,…

Your abuser does not get to define the rest of your life. You can know this intellectually, but it’s a whole different beast to know it in your body. People who experience sexual assault might internalize their fear and trauma so they continue to feel unsafe in their skin. They…

Pets and kids are notoriously bad at respecting bedroom boundaries. These big-eyed housemates have been known to claw at doors, swat at exposed body parts, and whine when they’re excluded from intimate activities. I’m thinking of toddlers of course, but this behavior applies to pets as well. Have you ever…

On January 3rd, a snowstorm pummelled the East Coast, and Fredericksburg, Virginia (my home) got the brunt of it. The first couple hours of snowfall were idyllic. I enjoyed the white, winter backdrop in the window behind me, as I sipped my coffee and completed the day’s journal entry (hello,…

Shame: There is something wrong with me as a person. Guilt: I’m a person who may have done something wrong. What is the thing that causes you to lay awake at night; the thing that causes you shame? I promise that you’re not damaged beyond repair. You’re not unlovable. You’re…

Many of us shiver or clam up at the mention of sex (we’ll get into why later) but talking about sex (when and where appropriate) is vital to our health and wellbeing—these conversations allow us to understand safe sex practices, explore our personal feelings about sex, and ultimately maintain a…

When we feel ashamed of our secrets, we’re more likely to think about them over and over again. We can better cope by shifting away from shame and toward guilt. A Columbia University study asked 1,000 participants questions about their secrets, including how much shame and guilt they associated with…