Why is life so hard? The challenges of life and how to deal with them

Can Life Be Hard Sometimes? Why Is Life Hard?

Absolutely, it can. Because “life” is quite literally an all-encompassing term, it can be many things: from beautiful, kind, and logical to unpleasant, hard, and complex.

Life is full of indescribable beauty and joy, but it also holds extremely difficult and emotionally draining things like grief, loss, rage, unfairness and inequality, hate, regret, sadness, and misery that make life tough to get through. Life is not always good, and sometimes the only way it can get better is by continuing to move forward.

Why Is Life Hitting Me So Hard?

Despite our best efforts, we’re continually vulnerable to the unpleasant hits that life sends our way. Sadly, life will always have moments of hardship—everyone has situations or feelings that we feel unequipped to handle, that hit us harder than those around us and may feel impossible to deal with. 

To understand why life feels especially hard and is affecting you so intensely, it can help to examine common factors that often impact our ability to cope. These factors include:: 

• Discrimination
• Failing health
• End of a relationship
• Poverty
• Loss of friends or family members
• Loneliness
• Lack of access to resources or support

Life has its ups and downs, but it shouldn’t feel overwhelming all the time. If life feels like too much to handle—or if you’ve hit a rough patch—psychotherapy can be a valuable resource to help you manage. Therapists can provide support, advice, comfort, and a safe space to talk through what troubles you while helping you make a plan to tackle those issues.

Why Is Life So Difficult to Live? 

Many areas of life can impact mental health and well-being, making it more difficult to live a consistently happy life. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) identified four main categories that affect well-being: 

• Individual: History of mental illness, serious illness, legal issues, occupational issues, substance use problems, history of adverse childhood experiences
• Relationship: Bullying, loss of relationship, social isolation
• Community: Discrimination, historical trauma, stress of acculturation, lack of access to healthcare
• Societal: Stigma associated with mental illness, easy access to lethal means, and unsafe media portrayals  

Many other factors can make life difficult, but with strong support and community, they can be weathered, allowing you to move through them and on to better times. 

Does Life Get Harder as You Age?

As you age, the likelihood of encountering challenging experiences grows. However, age also provides experience, with more opportunities to make better decisions, release negative emotions, compile wisdom, and build greater self-awareness and self-confidence.

This means that, though aging provides more time and chances for you to experience challenges, it also gives you the time to learn skills that will help you get through those difficult moments.

What Is Considered the Hardest Thing to Face in Life?

Life is full of experiences that test us, especially those that feel irreversible, such as the loss of a loved one—like a child, life partner, or parent—or facing one’s own mortality. 

Often, what separates difficult moments from the “hardest things” in life is the personal impact of these events. They can deeply affect our self-concept (self-esteem, self-worth, etc.), values, sources of fulfillment (meeting needs and desires), environment, and support systems.

When these factors are drastically impacted by an event, it can be life-changing, which is what sets them apart from merely difficult circumstances. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and because of this, things that are hard to face for one person may not be as challenging to another. 

Does Life Ever Get Easier?

The question of whether life gets easier often depends on what “easier” means to you. Would relief from pain make your life easier to manage? How about skill acquisition or more support? 

Life will always have highs and lows, but as time goes on, each hardship better prepares us to handle the next. In this way, life can feel easier. We may face increasingly tough challenges and trials, but as we learn and grow through them, we become more equipped to handle the difficulties that life throws at us. 

If you’ve overcome something hard, or even just made progress managing the difficult parts of your life, take a moment and give yourself credit. Celebrate your small wins and your large ones. Recognizing all the work you do for yourself can help you build confidence and feel more accomplished.  

How to Live Through a Hard Life: What to Do When Life Is Hard

When life feels hard to manage, there are several practices you can try on your own to help yourself. Here are a few tips for regaining a sense of control when life feels overwhelming:

• Clarify values: Think about what’s important to you and let that give you a way forward.
• Adjust: Think about your life—what habits or thought patterns could you adjust to make room for your new reality? 
• Change perspective: How can you look at this new hardship or change with a more open mind?
• Cope: Use tactics like self-care and asking for support to help ease the burden you feel.
• Develop problem-solving skills: Brainstorm new ways to address the issue at hand.
• Identify strengths: What are you good at? How can those skills help you get through what’s happening?

One of the best things to do when life feels like too much or you feel like you’re in a funk is to talk to a mental health professional about your struggles. Not only can they provide a sympathetic listening ear, but they can also help you figure out how to bear the weight of what you’re going through and overcome your challenges.

They do so by creating individualized treatment plans based on one’s presenting issue with careful consideration of past issues and tendencies. Therapists are professionally trained to provide active listening, coping, problem-solving, and relaxation skills that are evidence-based and intended to provide long-term therapeutic benefits.